Why do I, We – Get Angry?
Anger is toxic – it pollutes our personal atmosphere
My sense of justice has been betrayed. I have been falsely accused. I get frustrated when things don’t go the way I want them, when people don’t perform the way I want, when I let myself down, don’t live up to my standards or my families or society’s. To name a few triggers. And I imagine others get angry for some of the same reasons.
When alone, I take my anger out on me. Maybe I’ll feel ashamed, guilty, depressed etc. But if someone is around, it is easier to be angry at them, just because they’re there and I believe they feel the same sense of loathing for me that I feel.
Forgiveness is called for the angry. Forgiving ourselves for our humanness, for our fear of being annihilated because we screwed up.
When one stubs their toe, they don’t want to hear, “why weren’t you more careful?” They, we, I, want succor, comfort, healing.
How do we offer that to ourselves, each other?
I have learned to become aware of the signs that anger is about to erupt like the lava from a volcano and engulf the joy in my life; and I look at it, back away, and say in so many words: “Whoops!”
I watch myself about to become embroiled, and I share it with a willing ear: “I just got so annoyed when she, he, said, did that. Boy did that knock me off my perch!” Then—and this is the fun part—I sometimes see myself as an animated figure, steam popping out of my ears, eyes popping out of my sockets, and I have to laugh at my ridiculousness.
When I am aware of what I need in those moments, I can share them with my angry brethren.
I can feel the self-accusation under the anger.
I can feel the need for forgiveness and I will do my best to deliver.
-Hospitality Director Lupin Lodge