The Hazards of Being a Naturist and a VPP
(Very Pale Person)

By Sierra R.

When unclothed in the wild, there are always potential challenges. Rain, chill, scraping vulnerable parts against less-than-sympathetic flora or landscape. When one is a very pale person on top of this, there are additional concerns.

Lupin Life Art Drawing

The top three difficulties of being a very pale person who likes to be very nude are:

  1. The sheer cost of sunscreen – since we are forced to apply sunscreen approximately every 12.7 minutes, we go through a phenomenal amount of it (always SPF 50 or above) to keep our skin and important bits from sizzling like bacon in the sun.
  2. For some reason, it is nearly impossible to get a tan. I cannot count the number of times I have laid out in the futile hope of developing a bronzy glow, only to spend days looking like a tomato that applied too much red lipstick… and still, not long after, returning to the healthy complexion of an anemic ghost.
  3. The reflection of our buttocks in the sun can down passing planes. (Said buttocks can, however, be used in place of a lantern on a dark night.) Our skin tone can be a hazard to our own vision as well—I once foolishly looked at myself without eye protection in the sun and spent hours recovering my sight.

Though there are other challenges to being a naturist, for those of the pale persuasion and those of a less blinding skin tone, I would not trade the freedom of being naked (and the freedom to rob passing strangers of their ability to see) for anything.

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