The first two letters in the word begin to tell me something about the word. There is an implication that there is a relationship with two entities. It may be between two individuals or an individual and a group or two or more groups having to make a collective decision and needing to achieve a goal.

The dictionary has a definition for communication: successful conveying or sharing of ideas and feelings.  I have to asks these questions in order to be successful To whom am I communicating? What do I wish to communicate? Why do I wish to communicate this?  How do I know it has been received as I want it to be received?  I might ask you to let me know what you heard me say or I might ask you to let me know what I expect you to do so that these questions bring us together around purpose.

If I choose to have a successful communication the outcome for me is that we are on the same page, talking the same language, moving in the same direction. An example just occurred when a friend of mine wanted to move her car to a shadier space from the street to a space in a parking lot.  I was standing on the sidewalk near the space she wanted.  I heard her ask me to wait there and she went to get her car.  While doing that another car  took the space she wanted.  She asked why I didn’t wait in the space.  My answer was that I waited where she asked me to wait. Which was exactly where I was standing.. Obviously there was a lack of communication. She could have been more specific, she could have checked that I got what she wanted or I could have asked her why she wanted me to wait there.  What ever works to make sure we get the results we want when we are trying to successfully communicate we need to ask ourselves the above questions.

When we have miscommunication with a partner after an altercation we may find ourselves in a momentary separation. Getting back on the “same page” may require one to not use the “you” word for example, “ you said or you did. It will just put your partner on the defensive and widen the gap. We may feel we were not heard or seen or appreciated and all of that hurts us.    We need to be honest with ourselves and each other. “I just didn’t feel seen, or heard or appreciated and so I attacked you and  I am sorry.” In most relationships the chasm disappears and true communication is restored.  At least that is what works for me. If you want it may work for you in your interpersonal and/or departmental communications.

Rochelle
Hospitality Director Lupin Lodge